The bathroom door clicked open to Ranboo holding their son Michael. He could hear knocking at the door, he couldn’t pick himself up from the crouched position by the toilet, his body felt too heavy to move, he felt as if he was full of sand. His hands were shaking violently, he felt so weak, his head was pounding and his ears were ringing. He felt something in the pit of his stomach quickly rising into his throat, he dashed to the toilet kneeling and emptying all the contents in his stomach, which was close to nothing.
It looked like he went to hell and back several times and then died and came back alive. Messy and greasy hair, eye bags for days, and pale skin. Looking into the mirror he visibly cringed at the sight. “Get ahold of yourself Toby.” he quietly mumbled. A few more tears left his eyes as he walked to the shared bathroom, he closed the door and turned on the faucet splashing water in his face. He rubbed his face violently sitting up and dangling his legs over the side of the bed. He was so relentlessly upset and angry at everything and didn’t understand why. He was actually in control of something, even if it was small he had control. The first few months were good, he had power and people respected him for once. But of course, he couldn’t because the government fucking sucked. He wanted it all to stop, he wanted Tommy back, he wanted to be there for his husband and son. His eyes slowly but surely glossed over, tears welling up in his eyes until they spilt onto his cheeks sliding down his face soaking into the fabric beneath him. He softly smiled to himself feeling a lump in his throat that he was all too familiar with. Michael would be snuggled into his side snoring quietly with a light green blanket wrapped around his tiny body as well as Tubbo and Ranboo’s. When Tubbo would wake he would be met with the ceiling, and the warmth from his husband sleeping next to him peacefully. When he would come home Ranboo would find him asleep on top of his desk with paper scattered on the floor because he’s a good husband and cares about Tubbo he would carry him to their bed letting him rest until the next day where it would start all over again. “Not now Ranboo, I need to get some paperwork done.” and he would walk away without a word down the corridor not to be seen until far later that night. It got hard for him to express emotion, Ranboo tried to help but he was only met with. A dark hole he couldn’t climb out of it kept getting deeper, darker, and colder. There was too much happening already, he was so busy, signing paper after paper, his hand tended to cramp and still, there wasn’t enough time to relax, so he pushed through the pain and pushed and pushed until he pushed so much that he fell. He didn’t want to exile anyone, but he had to in order to not go into a war. It was all too painful, Dream slowly walking away smiling to himself and Tommy…Don’t get him started on Tommy, he didn’t want to talk about it. Rubbing salt in the wound was what it felt like, seeing Dream looming above them all, pulling his strings, manipulating everything he touches. Tubbo knew from the moment they stood on that obsidian wall that he would regret every single word that fell from his lips and landed on the cold dark purple surface. Stats: Published: Updated: Words: 22780 Chapters: 21/? Comments: 10 Kudos: 23 Bookmarks: 2 Hits: 783
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